A Memory, from Beloved Genovese Life ...

Some mornings, here in Italy, it feels like I am living in an enormous mansion … that my apartment is merely one of the many rooms located in that solid mass of building that is my Genovese home.

I doze for a while, in the mornings, windows open/shutters closed, waking again and again ... to the sound of voices passing by, down in the narrow medieval alleyway. I am woken by conversations, by greetings shouted …by bursts of laughter, dogs barking, children calling. Metal roller doors being rolled up, as if thrown by a giant hand intent on making the most noise possible.

I imagine the people who belong to the voices. Italians, living their routine, stopping for coffee … friends who meet everyday, on their way.

The progress of my days are measured by the rise and fall of the noise, down there on Via Ravecca … coffee cups clattering, saucers rattling, cutlery clinking ... then a slow easing into the quiet of mid-afternoon, before a crescendo that becomes a solid hum, as those same morning friends settle into aperitivo after work.

I make up stories, at my desk in the Italian kitchen … stories of lives long lived in one place. Of generations.

I am quietly envious.

I feel like an orphan.

Sometimes, I am startled awake by a wild and angry voice in the early hours of a morning, or a suitcase rolling over the massive paving stones.

Suddenly the cafe's metal security door is rolled up, 6am … clattering and rattling directly below my bedroom.

One lunch time, I watched an old man lean out from his window across the alley, to shake his tablecloth clean of crumbs. We smiled at one another

Sitting here, writing and editing photographs … I hear a small 3-wheeled truck manuvoring its way along the narrow caruggi. Scooters zip through. People are passing by constantly. University students, carrying their heavy porfolios, businessmen in blue suits, the old men and women, the shoppers, the mothers with their babies.

I leave my windows open, pretending I am a part of this beautiful living tapestry.

The conversations … I have learned 'va bene' via that open window. And I practice my 'ciao' by repeating it whenever I hear it.

So often.

What do I love about Genova?

What has pulled me back here, since 2008 …?

What fuels the passion I feel for this little-known, often over-looked Italian city?

I love the secretive alleyways, known as caruggi by the Genovese.

I love the hills that surround the city. And the Ligurian Sea that caresses its feet.

The colourful buildings. It is a city that glows apricot, pale yellow, terrocotta, green or blue metal shutter. The ruined buildings still inhabited, and not as ruined as they first seem, to my New Zealand eyes ….... eyes unaccustomed to ancient.

And then there's the Genovese light.

It transforms the ordinary, the ugy, the beautiful too.

It transforms everything it touches.

One evening, I glanced up and saw the wall across the alley changed. The ordinary, slightly dull yellow surface, was singing gold in the evening light.

Perhaps it is this promise of transformation. Both of the city, as the light moves across it, and of me …

When I am there, I walk often, drinking in the light and sights via my camera.

I lose weight, I grow strong.

Somehow, this Genovese life strips everything away, and leaves me reliant on my senses … and my camera, translating all I see, all that makes me curious, into images.

The centro storico, the old city, comes alive, like a creature … a 2,000 year old creature,who has a heartbeat and a soul. She allows me to walk her streets with impunity.

Camera in hand, I feel like a child of hers … I feel safe.

Zena, an ancient name she also wears with pride. She is a shapeshifting city. A living breathing city. She has a pulse. She whispers to me, every single day I am there.

Sometimes, I feel the weight of centuries pressing down on me. It is a simple thing to feel ghosts walking with me, around me, caught in other times perhaps or, more simply, still present, just slightly out of focus.

But most of all, there is this comforting feeling that things have been like this forever … that the streets carry the imprints, visible or not, of the millions of feet that have walked here.

Tracks have been worn, habits and customs formed, and generations born here … since forever.

A Year On ...

It has been a year, more or less, since we moved north … to a more temperate climate, one that sees us picking lemons, figs, feijoa, oranges, blueberries and all kinds of vegetables too, in their seasons.

It has been a year of silence from me. I was discombobulated by the way social media was being harvested for information, saddened by the polarisation being pushed down here in New Zealand, on the back foot about how to go forward and so, I silenced myself.

Perhaps this is the beginning of me finding my voice again.

Who knows, I thought I was beginning to speak again, back in January.

I have watched as friends round the world, have struggled then, oftentimes, fallen silent too. The old Chinese curse could be applied perhaps … May you live in interesting times.

Perhaps we need an instruction book on how to live through interesting times.

Live till you die was the best I could come up with.

Live every moment you can manage … deeply and richly, taking pleasure in the ordinary, in Nature, in the smallest of things … if you can.

I have learned a few new skills. Had some old and tired teeth removed by a dentist who I talk of in hushed tones of reverence. When it became clear that my teeth needed work, I simply wanted to fly back to Belgium, to my beloved Antwerp-based dentist called Marleen. But it’s a bit far, and Marleen might not even be practicing now. And I thought about flying further north, down here in New Zealand, to an incredible dentist I met upon my return however, I should have known … the universe delivered me to the most remarkable dentist’s door, after a long and miserable year in the land of denial.

When I go to her now, I bounce in the door, like one of those enthusiastic labrador puppies, overjoyed to see her again, despite her job. But she is a bit of a special being, living a life that seems straight out of the most luscious novel, one that makes use of magical realism.

She, unlike me, is extremely grounded but her life …

Summer is on its way now, after an interesting, and very wet, winter and spring. We were all feeling the greyness, and the relief of spring’s arrival is being well-celebrated, in this place where they drum by the light of the full moon every month, and hold events like the recent Abundance Festival.

I missed Genova for a long time but finally, my mind caught up with the actuality of my body being back home, and I don’t imagine leaving New Zealand again. I was always a woman in love with the beaches, mountains and forests of home. It’s good to be back, in a place where I live between both.

And there is a hill, between the rest of NZ and here, and when you drive down from the top, the view reminds me of how it was to land at an airport. More than that, The Hill acts like an old city gate, back in Europe. I will never forget how it felt to be enclosed by that beautiful old Genovese city wall, built to repel Emperor Barbarossa … it made me feel safe. I loved walking home, through Porta Soprana, back in those days when Genova was Home.

These days, there are two dogs, and a lovely man, in my life.

A wee rental cottage, with a view that makes it simple to appreciate the ordinary everyday life that I’m living.

Snow Patrol remains a major love.

Sometimes, in the evenings, I make attempts at devouring good books but I fall asleep, so much more easily than ever before.

It is a smaller life but I love it, so much.

So Many Months Since That Previous Post ...

I found a home, one that I love more than my beloved Genova … which is good, since that Italian door is so closed to me in these days. If we leave our country, our government won’t allow us back … except via a lottery system which is, as you can imagine, a nightmare.

I have access to the most beautiful river, in the world, ever … And a beach I adore, like those beaches I loved in those days before I flew from New Zealand, escaping a very bad marriage.

I am beach girl again, living by the tides, when I can.

I have a casual job, that I love and I finally purchased a laptop, screen and memory that allows me, once again, to claim that I am also a professional photographer.

I have been reunited with my external hard-drives, after not having them work via my ancient and dying laptop, that one that has been dying, since flying back home to New Zealand.

I lost my father in August.

I met a man, and he has become my anchor, my partner, and my most-loved friend.

The doors have opened, as we have found the courage to step through them … and now, in these days, I am finding the tribe I belong to.

We are blessed.

I hope you are doing well too.

Love, Di

The Wild West Coast, New Zealand

We are beginning to live by the tides, and by the ebb and flow of the polar blast currently roaring its way up New Zealand. Smiling, a little, when we realise we have seen his beloved Mohikinui River in flood, twice now, in 3 days.

We went to sleep, loving the sound of torrential rain on the roof.

We woke to a thunderclap so loud that we thought the world was ending.

Since then, the day has been spent with us all quietly searching for comfort. In sleep, in food, in moving slowly through the hours of this day as it unfolds. The thunderclap, its lightning strike really, killed our power supply, making us doubly glad that our house has a big wood-burning fire.

We lit it, loaded the firebox and I cooked our porridge on its hot top … heated water for coffee, and thawed out our frozen blueberries.

Voila, breakfast was achieved, in the most satisfying 'wilderness' style.

The tide was fully in by mid-morning, the river had filled to almost over-flowing again. The tide pushing in, the river pushing out at its mouth. The Mohikinui is one of the last 'natural untouched' rivers in New Zealand. There is so much pleasure to be found in watching it slide by, from up here on the hill.

The sea is choppy today. Whitecaps as far as the eye can see. White clouds scudding across the sky, ahead of the next front rolling through, with high winds, heavy rain …

Nature on steroids. Nature at its best. I can write this because the house here seems sturdy. Built for every kind of West Coast weather.

The water pump needs electricity to move the water from tanks to tap. I waited till 8.30am, then wandered out to phone the site manager, just wanting to be sure it was a general power outage, and not just us, up here on the hill.

He said, no. The linemen were on it. He promised he would bring up a generator if the fault wasn't found.

10am, the linemen rolled up our driveway. The weather, atrocious. We greeted them with smiles and offers of coffee. They smiled back, thanking us but needing to go across wet fields to the power pole out there.

I watched them through the binoculars we brought traveling, just in case there were far-away things to observe. I watched, and after 20 minutes perhaps, they managed to hook something to something and voila, I opened our window to 'thumbs-up' them when they looked.

The power was on.

The coffee machine …

But since then, we have achieved almost nothing except acknowledging, or perhaps accepting, that there is nothing we need to achieve, for no one.

The sunshine is Spring-bright outside. I'm squinting as I look over my screen, watching the sea flow in, the river flow out. The collision is happening 500 metres from here, I can't miss it.

The drummer is drumming on his Jembe It's good to hear. Perhaps today is the day that he will set-up the stripped-down drum-set he brought with him.

But there's a break between rainstorms and wind, we need to go out into this wild West Coast weather.

Another day is done.

La vita è bella.

Note: the image below came about while out walking. Selected in a hurry, fitting into the time I have online.

the wild west.jpg